Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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