She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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