You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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