In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
