he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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