Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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