So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The air taste purple.
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