I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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