I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize