I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
