My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
zippers are such a cool invention
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
