And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
