just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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