Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
