Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
