Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have fence marks all over my body
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize