were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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