Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize