Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize