ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
