I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
