i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
