Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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