you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
