My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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