i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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