I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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