If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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