the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
