dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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