This girl is more easily done than said...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
