so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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