If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize