you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
