Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
