It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
