we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
