Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize