you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
