when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
me + whiskey = a bad person
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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