Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you would pick up someone in the library
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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