Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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