i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
