if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just invented taco cereal.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
