Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
