she looked like the bat from fern gully.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
