Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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