is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
