apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
