Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why is there bacon in the couch?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
