dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize