so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
