thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Me too!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
