Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
