btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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