U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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