worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
