There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
