There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
