Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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