I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you win again, gameday.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
