Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize