Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
