some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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