don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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