I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
