She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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