fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
