Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
