GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
