I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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