Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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