I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
