I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
