i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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