so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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