So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
