and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Someone signed my nipple.
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