You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
