no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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